My parents got divorced when I was young…about 10, I think. I can’t really remember why, I just know that they were better parents apart than together. But, sometimes I would wish that I could have grown up with both of my parents, like other kids my age at the time.
Now, looking back, I’m glad that they made the choice to end the relationship and co-parent. I feel like they did it for them and for us. It’s impossible to be a good parent in a bad relationship. The fussing, fighting and tension just isn’t good for your kids.
Now that I have a child of my own, I have mixed feelings about divorce. My husband is an amazing father. I mean ah-mazing. Our son absolutely adores him. Every time he comes home, Carter smiles and laughs and reaches out to him. He is completely mesmermized by his dad, and I love that. It endears me to my husband.
When I see them together, it makes me happy on a completely different level. And it motivates me to do whatever I need to do to make that last forever. I think about if Chris and I ever got divorced and how I wouldn’t be able to enjoy moments like these. Instead we would be fighting over custody, sharing our son individually instead of as a family.
I’m not saying that I would stay in a bad relationship for the sake of my baby. For example, if Chris was physically or emotionally abusive to me or him, or if he didn’t work or help in some way to support and take care of us, then I would have no choice but to leave. I don’t agree with people keeping their children in a harmful environment just because they’re too scared to leave. In the long run, it just makes your children angry, confused, and more likely to repeat your mistakes in their own relationships.
But, it seems like people get divorced for the simpliest things these days…and that is tragic. They feel like marriage should be easy, and once it stops being easy, they don’t work for it anymore. Or, they start flirting with someone else, and convince themselves that their new love interest treats them better than their mate (which is complete brainwash bs).
In reality, marriage is work. It’s not always going to be happy and a bed of roses. Sometimes it will be a tsunami of emotions. But, you get to the end, and it’s sunny again…until it’s not. Just a dreamwork of ebbs and flows. You have to learn how to cherish the highs and brave the lows.
Just remember that at one time, you felt that person was worth getting married to and they felt the same way about you.