The Ultimate Brass Ring

20140619-192310-69790207.jpgWhen we are little girls, we like to play house. We are given Barbie dolls, complete with shiny convertibles, dream houses and handsome Ken dolls. We are given babies that simulate the real thing. We plan our weddings from the sandbox. We stuff pillows under our shirts and pretend that we are pregnant.

When we are teenage girls, we compete with our peers for the attention of boys. We crave boyfriends and first dates and slow dances and soft kisses the same way we crave air and water and food. We treat both as necessities.

When we are women, our biological clock ticks so loudly in our ears that we cannot hear anything else. We believe that if we aren’t married by 30, we have failed, despite our other life accomplishments. Our entire sense of self hinges on whether or not we have someone.

We are always after that ultimate brass ring.

Marriage. Kids. White picket fence.

But what if life were different? What if instead of playing house, we played doctor or astronaut or brain surgeon?What if instead of being obsessed with boys as teens, we became obsessed about being leaders and building amazing friendships? What if as women we stopped thinking of life as some sort of to-do list that needs to be complete by a certain age and instead focused on laughing and loving and growing?

What if parents and family and society stopped putting so much pressure on us to get married and have kids? What if people stopped treating single women over 30 as lepers? What if everyone stopped trying to fix you up with “that great guy” or ask for the millionth time when you’re going to have kids?

Imagine how wonderfully fulfilling life would be if women where allowed to live it. If we allowed ourselves to live it. If we got married because we fell in love and had kids because we wanted to hear the pitter patter of little feet. If we worked 90 hour workweeks simply because we loved our jobs or backpacked around the world simply for the hell of it.

What if instead of letting society and worldly conventions push us to their concept of an “ideal” life, we instead found our own ultimate brass ring?

To that I say, find your own brass ring and hold on for the ride.

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