Sometimes I think about all the boys I’ve loved before. They have left me with enough memories to last a lifetime. Some treated me like a queen. Some taught me hard life lessons. Some showed me the world. Some confined me to their own. Some broke my heart. Some left with broken hearts.
Some I thought where the one. They weren’t. Some thought I was the one. I wasn’t.
Some taught me things I’d never known, showed me things I’d never seen, and opened up a whole new world for me.
Each of them have shaped who I am today, for better or for worse.
At the time, I thought that I knew what love was. I thought that they loved me. I confused sex with love and thought that them finding me attractive was enough for them to want to marry me.
None of them loved me.
But you do.
You gave me your last name.
You gave me a son.
You gave me a family.
So, please, never wonder if I have any “what ifs.” Never wonder if I miss anyone from my past.
After all the boys that I thought I’d loved before, I never knew what love was, until you knocked on my door. Out of all the boys that I thought had loved me more, I never knew what love was, I’ve never had this feeling before.