But do you really forgive them?
To forgive means more than just to say the words. To forgive literally means to let go. When you let something go, it’s gone forever.
I like to think about the things people do to me as balloons. Some balloons I hold on to for a little too long, because I haven’t really forgiven that person.
But, when I forgive you, I let that balloon go. When you literally go outside and let a balloon go, it flies high up in the air until you are no longer able to reach it. And it keeps going until you are no longer able to see it.
When the next argument comes up, as it invariably will, you can’t do grabbing for that balloon.
Remember when you did this…
I know I did, but last week you…
I’m still mad about…
In those moments, you are trying to reach for a balloon that you already let go. It’s gone.
To bring up what someone did to you in the PAST, well, that just proves that you never really forgave them. You didn’t let go. You’re still holding on tight to all of those balloons of hurt, anger, sadness, rage, and resentment.
And that’s fine.
You can keep holding on to your balloons.
But mine have long since flown away.
And I feel the better for it.