What Sky Taught Us


My sister-in-law affectionately refers to VH1 on Monday night as “Ratchet Mondays.”  I love it, because it’s so true.   We know that it’s going to be ratchet television. We know that Black women are going to argue, fight, be half-naked, talk about each other behind their backs, get cheated on, hit a man for cheating, forgive a man for cheating, go Lesbian, go back again, and on and on.

That’s just par for the course when it comes to Mona Scott Young viewing.  I don’t think she would even begin to know how to make a show that portrays women of color (be it Black, mixed, Latina, etc.) in any other light.  And to be honest, I don’t know if anyone would even watch it.

We can’t even air “Black Girls Rock” without Nev Schulman throwing shade (btw: I am boycotting ‘Catfish’ because of it.  And when I have beef with someone, we gon’ have beef forever!  Just ask my husband.  I’m still boycotting Enimen for his racist and sexist remarks against Black women in the 90s).

It’s as if America as a whole has been brainwashed by reality television and they all actually believe that what they see on TV is an accurate depiction of Black women.

That would be like saying that all Black men are athletes because you see them on ESPN.  Or all Asians are smart because you see them on Jeopardy.  Or all white women are rich because you see them on Real Housewives.  Or all Spanish-speaking people are illegals because Donald Trump says so on CNN.

I mean, really?

Generalizations are what are crippling our nation.

Yet in still, on Mondays, we are glued to the television to take in another dose of scripted drama.  And that’s okay.  Because we are hyper aware of the fact that it’s not real.  It’s like when someone gets shot in an action movie.  You know that the director is going to yell “cut,” and they are going to get up and be just fine.

It’s not real.

But, there is one individual that is anything but scripted.  In a sea of staged events and reality TV that’s becoming less reality and more manipulation, Sky of “Black Ink Crew” always has the ability to come through and be our Superwoman and save the day.

Her radiant realness, unabashed honesty, unfiltered vulnerability, and willingness to be real in a world full of fake is simply breathtaking.  She is like sunshine personified.  Amidst the fights and disagreements, she’s the one that’s cracking jokes, making everyone laugh, and being the mediator.

She’s also the one that’s trying to get her life together and is doing so in front of the camera, for the whole world to see.

Her interviews last night were her most poignant and honest.  Those moments could be lost in the fact that she went to Dr. Miami for a breast augmentation and Brazilian butt lift.  But, that outer transformation was just a representation of the inner transformation that had already taken place.

For a few brief moments, she was that sad 14-year-old girl, who got pregnant and had kids and chose to give them up for adoption.  She was the girl that had to look at the visible signs of childbirth as a daily reminder of the children she no longer had.  She was the girl that openly admitted on television that when she met guys and they saw her body she had to lie to them about why it looked like the body of a woman with children, but she didn’t have children.

That was deep.

I think we all felt ourselves in her truths.  In moments where we felt vulnerable, less than. In moments where we’ve felt like we had to lie to explain away the obvious because the truth was stuck in our throats.

Sky taught us that it’s okay to live in our truths.  To admit our truths.  And to let them go.  To be free in the confession and honesty of the moment.

It was beautiful.



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